he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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