I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
