Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
