the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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