I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
