Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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