I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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