some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
