return my video game
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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