You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
