I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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