You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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