no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
