mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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