I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
