im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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