and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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