Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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