i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're like the curious george of whores
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
