I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
