Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
