i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
