i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
