She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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