im drinking this country out of the recession.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
