So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
