her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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