You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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