I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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