im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
