We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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