I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
