Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
