Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
is it fun? or sober?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
