Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
