soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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