My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
