Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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