i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
