did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
