I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
