there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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