Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
