my mouth tastes like poor choices
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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