Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
