the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
