i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
