We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
