you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
