If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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