oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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