Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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