Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
