Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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