Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
