Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
