You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
